make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
