Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
