He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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