Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
