Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
