All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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