Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
