I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Terrible idea I love it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
