Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
