Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize