she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
