I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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