Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Randomize
