She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
