I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
