i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
