I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
