it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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