yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
