Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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