I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
