well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
