i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
