Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
