Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
