Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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