That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
