i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
