My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize