Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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