Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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