I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize