Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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