normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
