her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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