Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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