I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
