My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
