i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
