he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
