$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
