Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
