Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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