his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize