Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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