Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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