Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
