I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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