Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
