Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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