Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
