Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
