You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
