you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
