I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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