I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
