Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
