He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
