just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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