Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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